Try = Fear

The word “try”.

I’ve used this word before. It’s a very powerful word. It has a greater impact on our efforts than we realize.

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I find it peculiar how we have a tendency to say phases like:

“I’m trying not to ______” ,

or

“I’m trying to quit _____ (smoking, overeating, etc)

The very nature of the word "try” is a sheepish and unassertive term. It has a negative subconscious effect on us

By saying we’ll “try”, we are actually telling ourselves one or more of the following:

a. I don’t believe I can succeed.

b. I don’t want to succeed.

c: I’m afraid of failing so I won’t do it.

d. I’m afraid of the outcome if I do succeed.

Notice what all these have in common? They’re all driven by FEAR. We’re admitting failure before it even happens.

Instead of saying the word “I’ll try” replace it with “I will” or “I am” .

I know I will. 

What's new?

What is the first thing you say when you run into a friend you’ve not seen in awhile?

How you doing?

What’s up?

….or my favourite,  "What’s new?“  

Oh how I dread that question.

You may be thinking, ”C'mon Dave, it’s not that bad.“  Well, I beg to differ, and here’s why.

I will be the first to admit that I am SOOOO guilty of doing this. I do it all the time, but I’m much more aware of it now.

Statements such as the above scream apathy… basically ”I’m not really interested in what you have to say“.

Sounds harsh, but true.

We’ve become so conditioned to these perfunctory statements, that it rolls off our tongue effortlessly. Answering them is about as much fun as that ghastly trip to the dentist.

When I get asked one of the above, I respond with the same effort that was put into the question.

How you doing? - Good

What’s up? - Not much

What’s new? Nothing

Of course, there is MUCH more I could say, but I don’t.  Why should I….why should anyone, really?

Minimum effort = Minimum response

This may sound pessimistic, but really, how many of you have thought the same? I believe we’ve all felt this way at some point. I’m just verbalizing it.

So, I challenge both you and myself. The next time you run into someone, exclude these statements from your vocabulary. Remove them completely.

Instead, find a kind alternative statement or something to compliment them on to open the conversation.